• Samuel Jacobs

BREAKING: During last supper, Jesus dined & dashed leaving bill on Judas

Which would explain Judas' sudden change of heart by betraying Jesus. His actions were criminal and had left Judas with a sizeable bill, not including tip.

JERUSALEM. Finally the mystery is solved as to why Judas betrayed Jesus during the last supper. It turns out that Jesus had skipped out on paying his portion of the meal and left Judas with a hefty bill at the Moshé Kosher Deli and Fish restaurant.

"We would have covered him, if he told us that he didn't have any money." Judas Iscariot said, "But he just got up, said he would be right back, and hauled ass."

Jesus was known to be the rebel amongst the group of friends. He would cause riots in the Temple at Jerusalem, make people rub ointment on his feet, and fool children into going into the deep end of the pool. This was the last draw for Judas, as he was tired of paying Jesus's way.

"During the dinner conversation, we were talking about how evil the money lenders were, and how they should be punished," relayed Peter, "But then I saw Jesus reaching for his coin purse and it was gone. That's probably when he decided to ditch us, so he wouldn't have to ask for money."

When Judas saw the bill, he realized that Jesus ordered the most expensive steak and lobster meal and two desserts. He ate most of the shared appetizers and even picked off of people's plates. There was even a bottle charge because they brought their own wine.

Fed up, Judas did what anyone would have done, "I turned him into the authorities, looking to teach him a lesson. How the hell was I supposed to know they were going to flay him into hamburger and hang him up to dry?" recants Judas. "Don't give me the stink eye, you would have done it too. He had it coming."


#religimarole #parody #satire #jesus #judas #lastsupper



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