Against his better judgement, Pope Francis has decreed that because of the economic and global disaster that this pandemic has brought, women should be allowed to work. Vatican City, VA. Pope Francis met with his special task force on societal issues yesterday and after long deliberations about how the economy will recover in a post-COVID19 world, they had come to the conclusion that to maintain a healthy economy, women must enter the work place. As much as the bible tells us

Doing some quick math with Jesus being born on Christmas, Mary would have been impregnated in April. Another Christian Holiday has been approved by the Vatican. April 3rd will now be celebrated as the "Virgin Mary's Celestial Rape Day" or "Penetrate". The supposed day that God came down and impregnated Mary without her knowledge. "Penetrate is a very special day for us." said the Pope, "This is the day that God held down an unsuspecting woman, spread her legs and forced his s

The Food and Drug administration has come down hard on the Catholic Church for not having the nutritional information on the communion wafers. In this area, there is no such thing as religious exception. All food must have nutritional information label on it, else it is in violation of FDA Law. "This is a confusing subject," said Gary Kessell, administrator for the FDA, "because there are two different nutritional values for the Eucharist, depending on where you are in the co

Churches in the poorer areas of Italy have discovered that they are getting the less desirable cuts of Jesus when they take communion. Africo, IT (population 3,200) is possibly the poorest town in Italy. Its unemployment rate is 40% and the gross average wage of the few who have a job is €14,000 a year. Virtually no one under the age of 30 works in Africo and one-third of the inhabitants are older than 55. It's no wonder that its Catholic Churches get the less desirable cuts

The CSL, consisting of 3000 teams, has been disbanded yesterday because every single team in the league kept moving the goal posts to suit their needs. The Christian Soccer League was disbanded because all of the teams could not agree what constituted a goal, and when one team scored, the other team would deny it, and make some excuse why it was invalid. One of the worst offenders were the Catholic Crusaders who kept disagreeing to the current rules, and wanted go back to the