• Samuel Jacobs

BREAKING: Xenu forcefully occupies Kolob, forces Scientology on Mormons.

Updated: Feb 12, 2020

A battle that has lasted millions of years is now over. Xenu the dictator over the Galactic Confederacy has overtaken Kolob and has enslaved all its inhabitants.

Xenu in his Monkey Mech ready to plant the Thetan Flag of Conquer

For years Earth has shunned and laughed at Scientology as a fringe cult with no power, but all that has changed. Xenu, the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy has attacked and enslaved all of its inhabitants.


Kolob was a peaceful planet, they had no weapons. Now under Thetan occupation, all earth Mormons are now under thetan control and are considered Scientologists.

Chancellor Elder Henry Entimanns had this to say, "It's a sad day for all Earthly Mormons. Our army of 144,000 strong wasn't enough to stop this invasion. We had to surrender."

The sky blackened with their War Cities. They managed to control all technology and tell the citizens of Kolob to either to surrender or be destroyed. It only took a few minutes before the entire planet was occupied.

Thetan war cities amassing over Kolob.

The Kolobian Mormons have vowed that this isn't the last fight they have. They sent back a message to the Mormons of Earth saying to build massive spaceships to take back their rightful planet of Kolob.


INTERCEPTED MESSAGE

The Galactic Confederacy has intercepted the message and are sending raiders to take down the Mormons right here on Earth. Be prepared for a massive intergalactic fight, that has been affectionately named: Battlefield: Earth.


#religimarole #satire #Kolob #Scientology #Xenu #Thetans

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