• Samuel Jacobs

Pastor awakens after 8 hour coma claiming he met Jesus Christ.

Updated: Feb 2

Pastor Jeremiah Grovers claims to have met Jesus after being in an 8 hour coma last night. The last thing he remembered was watching "Avengers: End Game" on TV.

Atlanta, GA. It was late last night, and Pastor Jeremiah Grovers slipped into a coma while watching the blaspheme charged "Avengers: End Game.", "They say there are other Gods like Thor. That's Blasphemy." During his time in the coma, Pastor Grovers said he met and talked to Jesus and that he was his messenger.


When asked what else he remembered from the coma visions, Pastor Grovers said, "It was weird and wonderful. I was flying. Then all of a sudden I was in grade 6. My teacher Miss Martin was there, but the room was full of bears in Met's uniforms" He then continued on about the part where he met Jesus.

"He was black, and wearing all leather. Bald, and an eye patch." said the Pastor. "Looked a bit like Terry Crews. But I could tell it was him."
Artist's Composite of Jesus as told by Pastor Grovers. By Carlos Pacheco

"Jesus wants me to lead you to the temple of heaven so you can be saved forever." said Pastor Grovers. "But that takes money. Please donate to the Church of the Trinity Blessed." then he gave us his Paypal address. "It's under my sister's name for tax purposes."


When Pastor Grovers woke up from his coma, in the morning, he was on the couch where he had succumbed the night before next to empty cans of hops flavored alcohol and salty snacks. "If that isn't proof that I met Jesus, I don't know what is. It just renews my faith in God."


#satire #parody #religimarole #Jesus #coma

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