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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

In defiance of BLM, GOP changes pledge to "All Nations Under God."

As an ultimate 'Fuck You' to BLM, the GOP changes the pledge of allegiance to include the words "All Nations Under God."

You, kid up front. Not you.

Americans know the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States is an expression of allegiance to the flag of the United States and the republic of the United States of America. The form of the pledge used today was largely devised by Francis Bellamy in 1892, and formally adopted by Congress as the pledge in 1942.

The official name of The Pledge of Allegiance was adopted in 1945. The most recent alteration of its wording came on Flag Day in 1954, when the words "under God" were added. Well, the Republican senate has decided to change the Pledge yet once again, by switching out the 'one' and replacing it with 'all'.

"We just want to remind everyone that we don't like black people." said Mitch McConnell, US Senate Majority Leader. "And what better way when they are pledging their undying loyalty to the country that betrays them."
McConnell, trying to swallow a whole, live rat.

When reminded that they are essentially suggesting that The United States is now giving up the exclusivity on allegiance, and it essentially could lead to a free-for-all of citizens promising their loyalty to another nation, he had this to say. "Yeah we are doing this out of spite. Haven't you learned anything from this administration yet?"

The Understanding Rights And Freedom Under Current Knowledge Foundation And Constitutional Evaluation Society (URAFUCKFACE) has been trying desperately to remove 'under God' from the pledge since it violates The First Amendment which reads: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." When pressed, McConnell had this to say, "Are you going to eat that live rat? Can I have it?"


Due to the increasing amount of uneducated people that occupy most of the United States, the Senate is considering removing the word 'indivisible.' because they lose half of their audience when they think they have to do math.


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