• Samuel Jacobs

Christ shot in a mistaken home invasion during second coming.

Updated: Jan 14

The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was gunned down in a local man's home thinking he was a home invader when he came to him offering him eternal salvation.

Houston, TX. Christ was gunned down as he appeared in the backyard of Victor Clament late last night. Mr. Clament thought Christ was an intruder and pulled out his Glock 19 and shot Jesus several times. When the smoke cleared and he saw what he had done, he immediately hid the body hoping no one would notice. But fortunately neighbors heard the gunfire and called the police.

He was wearing raggedy clothes and smock. He looked like a Mexican hobo, said Mr. Clament, who wouldn't have shot?

Jesus who was returning as prophesied in the bible, was ready to bring all good Christians to Heaven with him and enjoy an everlasting eternity with the God in all his glory, was killed before he could fulfill the prophecy.


Mr. Clement wouldn't tell anyone where he hid the body because he said he needs him to rise 3 days later and become God again. It's actually a sound plan. The police weren't having any of it and looked under the bloody tarp in the yard where they found the dead savior.


"Why the hell would you show up unannounced to someone's home in the middle of the night?" When asked why didn't he recognize Jesus right away, he responded that he at least thought Jesus would be dressed better than he was. "I thought the minimum he would be wearing was Jordans."

#satire #parody #religimarole #christ #jesus #glock


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