• Samuel Jacobs

Cash-strapped Catholic Church lists St. Peter’s Basilica on Airbnb.

Updated: Jun 22, 2020

You now can go visit the largest Catholic museum in the world and sleep inside its doors.

VATICAN CITY, Vatican. During the global pandemic, the Catholic church has emptied its coffers and is dangerously close to bankruptcy. Considering that no money is coming in, it has decided to rent out St. Peter's Basilica and the Papal apartment on airbnb to recoup some of those expenses when the quarantine is lifted.

"I don't know where all the money has gone." said Hershel Rosenberg, accountant for the Catholic Church, "There was still plenty left after the reparations, bribes and hush payments. Maybe we should have less gold toilets."

Although not technically active yet, a few exceptions have been made to boy scouts and touring altar boys. The listing has garnered several five star reviews, praising the Swiss Guards and the gold trim. A breakfast of fish and loaves is served in the Sistine Chapel, where the clients dine under Michaelangelo's 'The Creation of Adam'. The place is so spectacular that most people have overlooked the fact that they are just renting an army cot that is placed in the middle of the Basilica and have to bathe in the fountains in St. Peter's square.

If you rent a spot in the Papal apartment, be sure not to disturb the current resident in the morning hours, as he likes to sleep in. But you will find that they are very hospitable and friendly who is always quick with a dirty joke or a fifth of scotch.

While the price tag is a hefty $4500 a night, the walking score is 100 and the architecture is incredible. A ticket to the Vatican museum is included in the price.

#satire #religimarole #vatican #popefrancis #airbnb

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