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  • Writer's pictureSamuel Jacobs

BREAKING: Christian Parents want the 'Theory of Gravity' removed from the school curriculum.

Science is taking a back door to religion once again, this time it's gravity because it too is 'Just a theory.'

Houston, Texas. Parents are demanding that teaching about gravity in schools be removed from the curriculum stating that, "Just like evolution, the mountains of evidence means nothing and since that you use the same word to describe gravity as you do evolution, it must be wrong." said a concerned parent

"Would it help if we called it, 'The Scientific Laws of Gravity?" said Farnas Jacobs, a science teacher for Houston Collegiate. "That way you can't use the piss-poor excuse that a single word can have more than one meaning?" To which the parent got offended that Jacobs used, as they described it, 'the yellow word'. "It's almost like they want to deflect any sort of rational or logical thinking."

Another parent piped up at Jacob's terminology, "There is only one law giver, and that was Jesus." Then smugly turned to the Christian crowd, who applauded. "So if I punched you in the face, nothing would happen to me now? I wouldn't be arrested?" At which point, the parent ran from the room.

"Then, how do you explain people being able to jump up and down?" said another concerned parent. "That's what the course teaches? Am I on a hidden camera show?" said Jacobs.

Teach the controversy

Some parents want schools to teach both the theory of gravity and something they call Intelligent Anchoring, which they explain that an Smart Magical Force is preventing people from floating off into space. They want to let the kids decide which one to believe.

The school board will vote next week.


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